CRITICAL MASS HYSTERIA! (1978-)

Hi all,

First off, your various forms of contact over the past several days have been more than heartwarming, and I’m so thankful for you. As you can now see, I’ve been consumed for the past several months preparing myself for the announcement of events that will change the trajectory of my life. A couple things I’d like you to know:

1.) MY CONTACT WITH THE WORLD AT LARGE HAS BEEN QUITE LIMITED SINCE JANUARY.
Keeping details about The Elms’ future confidential until the right moment was a full-time endeavor. I’ve been hanging out with a small, trusted group of people (including the boys in the band), processing necessary decisions that needed to be made. I remember the heavy conversations that took place earlier this year about The Elms coming to an end. Before you know it, here we sit. It’s mind-bending.   

2.) I’M 100% COMMITTED TO THE HONORABLE CONCLUSION OF MY BAND. 
It’s shocking how much work it takes to respectfully dismantle something you love. Without sounding absurd, The Elms has had a huge impact on my life. Not (expectedly) just because it’s been my creative cause, taken me around the world, dictated my life’s planning and progress, and given me enormous responsibility. But also because I’m such an admirer of the music and the individuals - these are my brothers, and I love these songs. I’ve felt like the proprietary historian of The Elms, and that if there was an overarching narrative to this band, it’s been my responsibility to preserve it. And asking “why” our band is ending is far too simple a question. I’ll say that there is both sadness and peace in our hearts - we answer to an unknown, mysterious shared conscience. When it speaks, we listen. It spoke. But until July 30, The Elms will remain my life’s priority. I will finish strong, with little multitasking. 

Suffice to say, I find myself at the most reflective point of my entire life. These days, I can’t do anything without hearing giant drumbeats in my head, like a rhythmic accompaniment to the feeling of the unknown. Everything I see is cinematic. I’m totally available to - and affected by - the world around me. I’m overly grateful every time I eat a sandwich (not, mind you, pronounced “samwidge”), and I get emotional often, at little things, in a way that I haven’t in years. Thick-skinned hubris that has been necessary for a decade is turning soft. Maybe sometimes it’s loss that makes you feel like this. Sometimes it’s promise. Sometimes it’s triumph, sometimes tragedy. But it’s always change.    

After The Elms’ final note has rung on July 30 and some time spent on rumination passes, there will be the wonderful and terrifying opportunity to be industrious yet again, to dream up a new artistic move forward. But that’s where I feel most comfortable - CREATING the future, not waiting for it to arrive.            

So, what are you creating, artistic or otherwise? Within our own cadres and communities, we’re assessed for what we choose to stand for, pursue, and esteem. And I think that if we all get intimately acquainted with ourselves, we each have strong inclinations about which route we’re meant to travel in life; our destiny, if you will. It’s like a deeply-rooted burden, an unyielding compulsion that’s always there, a passion for a mostly singular cause… and often, it’s the riskiest proposition laid before us.

But if you neglect those impulses and take the safe route, then for God’s sake there’s a giant vacuum out here in the real world where you were uniquely designed to operate. If you choose to forgo the hard road of destiny because you’re interested in a more unencumbered trip or you’re too afraid to risk anything, well, then get used to feeling generally displaced. It’s life’s economy. We all have an innate desire/responsibility to find purpose and then live it out. And logic is meant to temper, not replace, instinct.

If you are noble, if what you are doing is righteous and genuine, I will always love watching you succeed. I mean that. And if right now you feel like a wanderer, don’t get discouraged. Dig deep, trust God, trust your heart. And if you’ve been afraid to take the first terrifying step… DO IT. 

All my love, guys. Be in touch - I’m listening. Now I’m going to get some lo mein.

My Twitter here.